For many years, a coke bottle from the 1998 Nagano Olympics sat on my mantle. In a curio cabinet I kept a bottle of water from the Jordan River. I didn’t keep these in my home because I was an avid bottle collector, nor for the value of the contents inside. I kept the bottles because of the memories associated with them. A dear friend…
I watched as the sun slowly disappeared behind the acacia tree. As I stood peering over the tall grass, fighting to keep my skirt from blowing up and my hair from flying in my face, I knew that I would never be the same. When I first started going to Kenya with my church, there were no evangelical churches among the Kuria tribe. Over the…
A sure-fire way to hurt your marriage is to engage in stonewalling. This is the final horseman that Gottman uses as a predictor for divorce. Stonewalling is when we build a wall and refuse to let others inside. We often do this by making comments such as “I don’t want to talk about it; Enough,” or “End of story.” When we cut others off and…
A couple of months ago I began writing about the four horsemen that threaten to destroy marriages according to researcher, John Gottman. Life has been so busy that my good intentions of doing this 4-part series in a month was delayed. The third “horseman” that wants to kill your marriage is defensiveness. We are all guilty of this one. “It’s not my fault.” A wife…
Fall is my favorite time of year for hiking. I love seeing all the colors on the trees as well as the cooler temperatures. It is the best time for climbing a mountain — not too hot and not too cold. Many times I stand at the bottom of a mountain and wonder if I can ever make it to the top. Depending on the…
Last month I began to blog about the 4 horsemen that seek to destroy marriages. John Gottman identified the four horsemen and has been able to use his theory to predict divorce among couples he counsels. The first of the horsemen was criticism and you can read more about it by clicking here. The second horseman, and perhaps the most dangerous, is contempt. Contempt is…