Men Crave Respect

I have
decided to participate in a 30 Day Fast from Sugar.  Today is only the first day, and I have
realized just how much sugar is in my normal diet. It’s everywhere!  In preparation for this fast, I’ve been
reading about cravings and how to deal with them.  While I crave pasta and bread, other friends
who are fasting miss soft drinks and chocolate. 
We each have to deal with our own unique cravings.

In a similar
way, men and women crave love in different ways.  Psychologists report that while women long to
feel loved, men desire respect.  Studies show a man’s highest felt needs are respect and
honor. On the other hand, a woman’s greatest need is to be cherished, adored,
and delighted in.  God knew this when
he inspired Paul to write Ephesians 5 which commands husbands to love their
wives as Christ loves the church and wives to respect their husbands. 

Wives are commanded to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33) out of
love and reverence for Christ.  What does
this type of respect look like?  A wife
should respect and cooperate with her husband.  This help and cooperation should be done
wholeheartedly and without grumbling, just as it would be given to Christ
himself.  This means avoiding a critical spirit.  As a matter of fact, John Gottman describes
four horsemen that are actively striving to destroy your marriage.  They are criticism, contempt, defensiveness,
and stonewalling.  Each of these “horsemen”
gradually turn spouses against each other. I will spend the next few posts
examining each of these.

This is a
timely reminder for me as well, because I’ve been told to expect irritability
as I experience sugar withdrawals.  Pray
that I will guard my tongue in the days ahead, and that I will treat my own
husband with respect even when I’m not feeling my best.