“I Do” but He No Longer Does

Have you ever played Jenga? The object of the game is to pull out block after block from a stack seeing how long the structure can stand before tumbling down. No matter how often I play, I still jump when the tower falls.

Too often this is what I see in modern relationships. Boy meets girl. They date. They “fall in love.” They talk about marriage, maybe even go ring shopping…and then the “happily ever after” comes tumbling down when the guy says, “I just don’t think this is right anymore.”

I hear of this scenario way too often (please know I am not speaking of anyone in particular — just about the method). Marriage is a sacred covenant designed to bind a couple for life. Today couples, even Christian couples, fall into like (or lust) and as time passes they begin talking more and more about marriage.

While I believe the purpose of dating is to discover who you will marry, I do not think that couples have to talk about getting married in order to answer this question. Guys, when you tell a girl you want to marry her and take her ring shopping, it is a done deal in her heart.

I want to challenge you, men, not to talk to your lady about marrying her until after you’ve proposed. You may think she’s the right one, but until you know that you know that you know — and ask her — don’t go there! Break-ups are always tough, but after a couple has been making plans to marry, the heartbreak is even more excruciating. It’s as if all a person’s hopes and dreams for the future die with the relationship. Guys, please guard the hearts of the girls you date. Until you’ve popped the question, don’t build up her anticipation for a wedding.

I know some of you may disagree with me but after years of working with 20-somethings, I feel like I can’t stay quiet on this subject.