Year in Review…

I haven’t written much this year because…well, I could give you a litany of excuses, but mainly because I have been emotionally spent.

This year I said goodbye to my grandmother and to Michael’s mom (my first mother-in-law). In addition to those losses, my stepdad is battling a rare form of cirrhosis and his health has declined rapidly. We’ve had many ups and downs on this journey with him; we almost lost him twice in the past month. I’ve spent many days in the hospital or sitting in assisted livings saying goodbye. There aren’t words to describe the heartache of 2018.

And yet….in all of this, God has proven faithful. He has brought peace when it was incomprehensible. He has brought reconciliation in broken relationships; he has comforted our broken hearts and he welcomed our loved ones into heaven with open arms.

Recently someone said to me, “I just don’t understand how a loving God would allow you to go through all of this.” I didn’t respond audibly (maybe I should have) but I pondered this in my heart. Our loving God relates to our pain — He gave up his only Son to a horrific death. Jesus wept when Lazarus died, even though he knew he’d rise again. Our Lord is intimately acquainted with our hurts; our loving God carries us when we can’t walk ourselves. 

This time of year, I have always basked in the name Immanuel — God with us. This year, I am clinging to the name Prince of Peace. My family needs his peace daily, and praise God his mercies are new every morning. I pray that the Prince of Peace would make himself known to all who are hurting…and as we say goodbye to 2018, I pray that the new year bring increased faith and gladness no matter the circumstances.