The Sacrifices Veterans Make Are Costly…Many Give Not only in Death but In Life.
After losing both my husband and my mother-in-law to suicide, I felt both guilt and shame. I wondered how could I have missed this? If only I’d said this or done that…the list goes on and on.
I also felt shame. I thought others blamed me. “She must have been a horrible wife or he would never have done that.” Then there was the shame of telling others how my husband died. No one wants to say suicide – the shame was unbearable at times.
When Sherrie died, I was angry at myself because I am a professional — how could I have let this happen?
I began to pour over the scriptures like never before. I realized that one of the first emotions Adam and Eve felt after disobeying God was shame. The Bible says that they gathered fig leaves and covered themselves. God then made the first sacrifice by killing an animal and making clothes for them to wear.
While I wasn’t responsible for Michael’s death, and I know that now, there was a time when I blamed myself. The blame led to self-imposed shame. As I wrestled with my own guilt and shame, I began to realize that when Jesus died on the cross, he covered my guilt and my shame.
I’ve spoken to many veterans who have followed direct orders but later blame themselves for their actions even though the decision was not theirs to make. Guilt says I did something bad. Shame says I am bad. I felt both. Jesus died to set us free from such debilitating emotions. Sometimes walking in obedience is enough; other times we may need professional help to overcome such hardships.
Unfortunately, many veterans come back from war with symptoms of mental illness. Many struggle with PTSD. And similar to me, many struggle with shame.
The latest research suggests that the rate of suicide among military troops increased to its highest level in five years, according to a report released last month by the Pentagon. Veterans have 22% higher suicide rate than general public. On average, 17 veterans take their lives each day.
The reason is not what you think. The rates are just as high for those who never deployed to war or saw combat as those who do. It is heartbreaking to think that in 2017, it is estimated that 40,000 Veterans were homeless. Many were unemployed because their highly developed skills obtained in the military did not translate to higher-level positions in the civilian world. Think about that. Veterans have moved up in the ranks, have great authority and are respected only to leave the service and work at menial jobs with little or no respect. Many struggle with identity issues as a result.
Statistics report that between 11-20% of veterans suffer from PTSD numbers vary depending on where they served. (Iraqi Freedom had highest rate, followed by Vietnam) and these are the ones who have sought treatment.
There is a 25% increase of suicides in the Army and 15% increase in the Marine Corps. In 2014, male veterans killed themselves 19% more often that civilian men, and women suicided 150% times more often than civilian women. Let that sink in. This is likely because females in general have a higher attempt rate than males, but female veterans have access to means (guns) so their attempts are more likely to be terminal.
These stats are based on those who have sought help. Think about how many suffer in silence and never get the help they need.
Where can veteran’s go to get help? Well the first place they may go may be to you. Listen. Really listen. Forget about your agenda and hear their hearts. Show them you care. Connect them to resources; I encourage you to save the following numbers in your phone so you have easy access to them.
Veteran’s Crisis line 1-800-273-8255
MyGCAL app (Georgia Crisis & Access line) gcal 1-800-715-4225
Not OK app Click here for more information on this app.